Why I Avoided Self Introspection for Years

I was pursuing my certification course to become a trainer when the facilitator introduced us to the concept of self-introspection. It is the process of delving into your thoughts, feelings, and actions. He told us that this was a great way to stay in touch with our true selves. I tried it with all my might, but I failed at it, terribly, initially!

We self-introspect often, consciously or subconsciously about the many decisions, feelings, thoughts, etc of our personal and professional life. Yet, in my case, I found myself running from taking a deliberate inward journey to discover myself, for years. This was mostly because of the fear of feeling bad about my decisions, or the way I acted, or the way I felt in a particular situation. I was afraid that the person I was going to find I was, would be someone I would not be very happy with. This often led to many doors that I preferred to keep shut rather than addressing them. Why? Because who wants to be swamped under the feelings of failure, disappointment, shame, guilt, regrets, anger, and much more?

But what made me think that introspection will only lead to negative thoughts and feelings? Was it because over the years there was a humongous pile that needed to be dealt with? Or was it a result of constant comparison with others who seemed to have had it all? Or was it just the fear of finding out answers that wouldn’t have made me content?

Self-introspection became that closet you ignored for a long time, unaware and forgotten of what was inside, what I needed, and what I needed to let go of. It was that closet that I avoided now because it would be too much of a hassle to open it, sort those clothes out and take the call of retaining and chucking.

So what changed my mind eventually? I am a self-confessed late bloomer who took years and different professions to discover what exactly I wanted to do in life. However, that in itself is not an easy path to be on. In the hindsight, I have with me a diverse experience not something that you see on a traditional resume. To seek my answers, I knew that there was no other way to figure it out but to open the chapters I had conveniently skipped and look back into them in detail. Until and unless I addressed squarely all my professional moves over the years, I couldn’t move forward. and so, as I stood stuck at this juncture desperate to figure out my life, I had no option but to open the closet. It was time to clean up!

According to me a very important element of successful self-introspection is, to be honest with self. Sounds easy? I’d say, not for many. As humans, we are so conditioned to try to be perfect or fit a certain mold in front of the world that looking into ourselves can be a bit daunting. There will be moments that you’d want to pat yourself on the back and equally intimidating moments of guilt, regrets, and much more.

Self-introspection means answering some uncomfortable questions. Some that you would love to answer and some that may trigger guilt, a feeling of disappointment, or even anger. The intent is to identify areas of life, how you feel you are placed in them and if you are not satisfied with it, what solution or course correction would you suggest to yourself.

Here’s what I’d suggest. Take out a few minutes a day to contemplate and think over one question. Answer to it honestly, because if you can’t be forthright with yourself, then you cannot evolve from where you stand today in life. If you found your answer and you are not happy with it, ask yourself, what can you change to make the Answer to your question something that pleases you or makes you happy and satisfied? That is the solution. Try incorporating that solution in your life, have checks and balances and decide a timeline when you will again self introspect this question. Next time you self-introspect, compare your answer of what was to what is and decide if you are happy with your progress, or if you would like to improve it. And that is I assure you one of the most powerful tools for your success.

Self-introspection is like that entangled ball of wool or wires that you need to entangle with utmost patience. In the process, there will be some clear successful moves and yet somewhere you’d feel frustrated as well. It is an excellent tool both for your personal and professional life. While we often do it subconsciously but dedicating a certain part of your day to it adds more value to your action plan of improvement. Try incorporating it as a small habit every day and watch yourself evolve!